there
by diannasbacon
Summary: All her life, she'd been looking for her origins come hell or high water. All her life, she'd been transferred from one foster home to another. All her life, she'd been a stray, for the lack of better word. All her life, she'd convinced herself that it can't be worse than she thought.


**this is my first time writing a skimmons fic. let's just pretend skyeward kiss didn't happen, okay?**

**now, read, ponder and enjoy :)**

* * *

It was worse than she thought.

All her life, she'd been looking for her origins come hell or high water. All her life, she'd been transferred from one foster home to another. All her life, she'd been a stray, for the lack of better word. All her life, she'd convinced herself that _it can't be worse than she thought_.

However, as it turned out, it was. It was so much worse than she thought.

She was a 'foreign object', in SHIELD's terms. She was an 084. For all she knew, she probably wasn't even human. She was a freak show.

She had been acting weird since Coulson told her. She knew she'd been not herself for months. She could feel Ward's questioning glances. She could feel May and Coulson's worried looks. She could feel Fitz's wariness. But most especially, she could feel Jemma's confusion and longing.

They were on their way _there_. Where? _There_ – the place where they could touch and laugh and just be in each other's presence without any restrain. _There_ wouldn't be a label. She hated labels. She didn't like labeling things, especially not after Miles.

Skye had wanted so much to be _there_ with Jemma. She wanted to hold Jemma. She wanted to laugh with Jemma. She wanted to touch Jemma. She wanted to kiss Jemma. She wanted to be that person for Jemma. And she was sure they were only a few miles from there when Coulson dropped the bomb on her.

And she just distanced herself from everyone. Sure, she ate with them. She hung out with them. She went on small missions with them. But she just wasn't present. And everyone could feel it. She just ignored them and went on her business. She pretended everything was okay when really, she was crying blood everyday inside.

Some days, when she couldn't fall asleep, she could see Jemma hovering outside her pod through the slits beneath the door. She could see the biochemist's hesitant footsteps. Yet, she kept her silence. She kept her tears at bay and she watched Jemma walk away in the end.

Even though she wanted to run out and stop Jemma and hold the woman in her arms forever, she didn't. She wasn't sure how she could fix this gap between them that she'd dug herself. She wasn't sure how to explain what happened. She wasn't sure if Jemma would be able to accept her unnatural…nature.

* * *

She knew damn well she shouldn't have gone into Quinn's villa by herself. She knew it. But somewhere in the back of her mind, she figured that she was an 084 anyway so she'd probably be doing the world a better good if she went inside and died. So she went in.

While silently putting all her trust in Fitz that he would take care of Jemma if anything were to happen to her. Because she knew something was going to happen to her one way or another. She didn't know how she knew. She just did.

The last thing she expected to see was Mike Peterson with half of his face burned off and one of his legs gone. She wasn't exactly astonished though. After all, she was a breathing and living 084. There couldn't be anything worse than that, was there?

And then it all went past in a blur.

Because she ended up with two bullets buried in her stomach.

And the last thing she could think of was Jemma laughing at one of her jokes before she passed out.

* * *

She was certain she was hallucinating. She couldn't be alive. She had two bullets buried in her stomach for god's sake. Also, she was pretty darn sure she'd lost a lot of blood. So how the fuck could she be looking at Jemma's pretty face sleeping on her right arm?

She came to the conclusion that this was a hallucination. And it was a pretty damn awesome hallucination. Because Jemma looked as serene and beautiful as ever in this hallucination. She wanted this moment to stay forever. She was pretty sure that she could go the rest of her life just looking at Jemma.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by a loud incessant beeping noise. And then Jemma took her aback by leaping out of the chair in a flash and frantically scurrying around her as if it would do any good. Obviously she still couldn't see that Skye was staring at her. The beeping noise persisted and Skye turned to the source with an annoyed frown.

Wait…was that a heart monitor?

"What?" she whispered in confusion.

Jemma stopped her frantic pacing and stared at the woman lying on the bed. "Skye?" she said in a whisper. Her voice sounded as if she found it unbelievable and overjoyed.

Skye kept her gaze on the machine for a second before she looked to Jemma. The peace in her heart was gone, replaced by apprehension and something akin to disappointment. "I'm alive?" she questioned.

The other woman gasped and she rushed to Skye's bedside, clutching her face in her hands with an awfully bright grin on her face. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. "Oh my god, Skye!" she exclaimed loudly and went to hug Skye very tightly. Skye was at a loss while Jemma kept whispering thankful words into her ear.

"Wait, wait, wait," Skye repeated, her voice hoarse. Jemma drew back from the embrace and regarded Skye with a smile. "I'm alive?" she repeated her question.

"Yes!" Jemma exclaimed with a relieved laugh.

"Oh."

* * *

She should have died. But she wasn't. And she couldn't help but hate Coulson a little for being so insistent on saving her. She didn't want to be saved. Couldn't they see that? Being an 084 meant that she posed a threat to mankind.

_Death follows you_, Coulson had said.

Once she died, death would die with her. The people around her would be safe. _Jemma_ would be safe.

She knew Jemma knew something was up. She was recovering unusually quickly for her state of injury. She had scars instead of wounds now. She was released one week earlier than anyone had estimated. She knew Jemma was doing something with all the blood samples she'd taken days before.

Jemma wouldn't find a thing with her limited resources. Skye had made sure of that with Coulson. They were currently looking into the drug that was now coursing in their bloodstream. They couldn't let anyone on the Bus know. She couldn't let Jemma know that she was a freak show with another freak show's body…stuff in her body.

She had thanked Jemma profusely for saving her. She could also see the look in Jemma's eyes. She wanted Skye to tell her everything. She expected things to go back to normal. She expected Skye to just open up to her and tell her.

Under normal circumstances, Skye would have. But this wasn't normal. None of these was normal. She couldn't tell Jemma.

* * *

Never in her entire life would she have expected Ward to be one of HYDRA. Never in her entire life would she have expected Ward to kidnap Jemma just to lure her out of the Bus.

He succeeded.

* * *

This time, someone did end up with two bullets in their stomach. And it wasn't Skye. Somehow, she was stronger and more agile and more focused. Maybe it was because Jemma was in danger or maybe it was because of the foreign body in her body.

Everything about her was foreign.

Ward was sent to the Fridge while Jemma was now the one lying on the hospital bed with Skye sitting by her bedside. Coulson, May and Fitz had all tried to persuade her to get some sleep in a bed but she refused.

Finally, she understood how Jemma felt when she was watching Skye lying unconscious on the hospital bed.

It was two days before Jemma awakened. Skye had never been more relieved in her life. It took three days – Skye had stayed by Jemma and taken care of her and chatted with her for those days – before Jemma finally couldn't stand being kept in the dark anymore.

"Skye?" she asked as they watched The Simpsons.

"Hmm?"

Jemma took a deep breath and she asked, "Can you please just tell me?" Skye frowned. She had inkling on what Jemma was talking about but she pretended she did not. "Whatever it was that you and Coulson had been hiding for the past few months. Can you just tell me?"

"What are you talking about?" Skye feigned confusion.

"Skye," Jemma forced out between clenched jaws. "I have had enough of this, Skye."

"Jem," Skye started.

"No, don't 'Jem' me!" Jemma finally yelled. Skye's mouth closed. "Ever since we've been to the Academy, you've been different, Skye. I saw it happening. Everybody saw it happening. Nobody had the courage to ask you. I thought you would tell me eventually. I thought we…" she drifted off and then she took another deep breath. "There was _something_, Skye. And then all of a sudden, it just vanished. You just withdrew within yourself and _god_, I have been so desperate to know because I'm concerned and I care about you! I know there is _something _happening with you. Because you went into the villa by yourself knowing full well what the risks could be. Because you wouldn't even fight to live until I injected the stupid drug in you. Because you've recovered quicker than I thought. I saw what happened. I just don't know what happened. And I need you to tell me, Skye. I'm sitting right here and I'm waiting and I don't think I can wait any longer. You need to stop hiding from me. You need to know that I am here. You need to know that nothing scares me anymore!"

The biochemist was panting when she was done and she was crying. Skye stared at the woman slack jawed before she steeled herself. She brushed her hair back and carefully reached out to touch Jemma's hand.

"Please," Jemma whispered when Skye kept quiet.

"I'm not sure if you wouldn't be scared by this," her voice was strained and small. She squeezed Jemma's hand. "I'm scared you'd run away if I tell you."

"I won't, Skye." She looked up to look into Jemma's eyes. "I promise."

So Skye told her. She told her everything. She didn't keep a single shred of information to herself. "I'm a danger, Jemma," she finalized it. "I'm not typical. I'm an 084. People have died because of me. I have alien blood in me." She realized she was crying.

Before she knew it, Jemma had moved so she could hug her. Skye's arms naturally encircled around Jemma's waist and she cried into the biochemist's shoulder. She was so scared and so relieved. She felt so much lighter now.

"It's okay," Jemma soothed her. "It's okay. I'm right here. We'll get through this together. I'll help you. I'll be right here with you. I'm not scared at all. I'm not scared of you." Then she drew back to hold Skye's face in her hands. She smiled and leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead then on the tip of her nose. She stopped with her smiling lips just inches from Skye's. "It's impossible for me to be scared of the woman I love."

Skye gasped. She looked into Jemma's sincere eyes and then leaned forward to capture Jemma's lips with her own. And dear god, it felt like rapture. She felt at home. Jemma felt like home. She leaned in deeper to kiss her deeper.

"I love you," she whispered against Jemma's lips before pulling away. "Thank you."

Jemma shook her head and kissed her once more. "We're there, Skye. And we're not going anywhere. I promise."

Skye believed her. They were _there_.

* * *

**it probably isn't that good. i'll probably write more. leave me a review? **


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